


Beautiful

by intoxicatedcinnamon (orphan_account)



Series: Letters to Haru [2]
Category: Free!
Genre: Fluff, Love Confessions, Love Letters, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-29
Updated: 2015-11-29
Packaged: 2018-05-04 00:01:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 560
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5312078
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/intoxicatedcinnamon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Haru is beautiful. And Makoto writes it down to make it concrete for himself</p>
            </blockquote>





	Beautiful

**Dear Haru,**

Do you remember when we were young,  
people used to call me handsome but Haru was officially a “beautiful boy”?  
Your eyes narrowed so much I thought you were going to disappear, and I could hear you telling them off in your head. But you really are beautiful  
Haru-chan, and sometimes I’m afraid that you’ll catch me looking at you for too long even when I’m not trying to hear you think.

Sometimes I memorise your lips when you fall asleep in class.  
And they’re not soft or red like lips are advertised to be.  
Yours are chapped from swimming and somehow nowhere else  
shows that you’ve been in the sun  
but your lips. But they’re pink and make you look more vulnerable, sometimes  
they part and

I think about kissing you and imagine  
that you must feel like guava juice,  
the whole point being that I’ve wanted to kiss you for a long time  
and you’ll probably taste sweet and your hand on my neck would be the best thing that could happen.

Oh gosh, that sounds weird.

You always pull your tie loose and undo the top button. The girls call it a “senpai look”.  
I’ve always thought green polka dots look really good on you  
cos the green matches your blue eyes and your hair is so dark and your skin is pale and  
everything just goes together. (you look good in my clothes too even though you don’t even realise you’re wearing them half the time and you don’t care the other half)  
and the hint of your collarbones under the white shirt  
drives me crazy some days, Haru.  
I want to run my fingers on them and feel  
feel you and how delicate you can be.

I love your eyes. They’re the colour of the sky just before stars start to appear above the sea on our way home.  
Nothing quite comes close to the way they widen when I hand you a popsicle  
or when you see water deep enough to swim in; they soften  
when small animals appear, when Nagisa cracks jokes and laughs at himself  
and I wish more of these things could happen to make you happy.

I love how you’re smaller than me, but don’t make me feel awkward or too big.  
I think your proportions are what make you beautiful.  
I could carry you, let you loop your arms around my neck and rest your head on my shoulder.  
Or more like,  
you could let me carry you.

You’re never uncoordinated. I still marvel at how you can clamber over the sofa to catch Ran and Ren and make it look casual,  
and how your legs always know how to follow your arms in the water.  
It was because of you that Rei joined the swim club after all.

I wish some of that grace could have been passed on to me from all the time we spent around each other, some of that bravery that allowed you to throw off your shirt in public for the first time  
without knowing what the people around you would say  
Some of that ability to _express_ without having to resort to words.  
But yet I know  
that if I was like you  
you probably wouldn’t shine like you do

and for that,  
I wouldn’t have it any other way.


End file.
